Life lesson via radio

So the past couple of weeks, months, etc have been interesting. Pretty much a total roller coaster ride starting in 2009. These past couple of weeks the roller coaster has pretty much been going down hill. And I haven't handled all of it in the best way.
I've tried and failed. Many times I just cried out in grief and frustration to God asking "Why me?". I've not been proud of the way I've handled these tough (for me) times. There are other people in the world going through so much worse than I am or ever have and their faith was strengthened by it. I've been a wimp, I'll admit it.
I just want for all this "bad stuff" to go away as fast as it can. I didn't want to wait any more for my prayers to be answered. I'm not proud of it but through most of the tough times, I've fought with God about my unresolved prayers instead of falling on my knees and praying to Him.
This morning I received an eye opener when I was listening to Scott and Kelly on Air1 (a Christian radio station) on my way into work. They played Barlow Girl's song "I believe in love". Although I've heard it before, listening to it this time really opened my eyes to the meaning of the song.

When I got into work I did a quick YouTube search for it and found a recorded video of them performing it at a concert. In the beginning of the video, they talk about their inspiration for this song and I got another eye opener.

We are like unrefined gold and God is the goldsmith. In order to make gold pure and valuable the unrefined material must be heated between 1,830°F and 2,010°F. The metals are separated through this and after a few more steps of fire and separation, the goldsmith has pure gold. When we go through trials and tribulations, things can get hot quick and life can be very uncomfortable. But we are in that fire because God is trying to refine us, to make us more pure. It is in our trials and tribulations where our character is formed where our relationship with the Lord becomes more pure. It is in these trials that we grow. Or at least it's supposed to be...
I've been through bad times before, many. In fact there is a whole year of my life where so many stressful and bad (at the time) things happened, that I don't even remember that year very well at all. And I think that for the most part, I did "good" I didn't struggle (much) and I was faithful in my devotions and walk with God.
But this time...
This time...
This time has been one of the toughest. I've been struggling with a desire/want that I hold very dear to my heart and I don't want to let it go. The more time passes and my prayers go unanswered, the deeper the hurt and pain. When I think of it, and all the time I've been struggling with it, it brings tears to my eyes. Lately, although I know I have many good friends out there praying for me, I've shed more tears over it than I have ever shed in my life.
I've been losing faith but I'm still struggling hard to hold on as best as I possibly can. I can't give up b/c that would cost me everything.

Lord will you please forgive me for holding on so tightly to the desires of my heart? I never thought that I would be tested about this for so long and I really don't know how much I can do. I know I can't and shouldn't fight you but it's become my defense mechanism. Please forgive me Lord for spending more time upset at you then running to you for comfort. You know the desire of my heart, You put it there. I pray Lord that you will answer this prayer. But I pray that it is done in your time. And if that means I have to wait another month, year, or 5 years please give me strength to be able to overcome it. I'm broken and I can't go on by myself anymore. I hurt too much to go at it alone.
Thank you so much for being a loving, caring and forgiving God. Please help me be a better Christian.

~Bethany

READERS: The video and lyrics are below. Please listen to the whole thing, if you can. The beginning of the video talks about their inspiration for the song and the lesson they learned from it. I also ask that you will please continue to keep me in your prayers. Thank you.



Barlow Girl - I Believe in Love

How long will my prayers seem unanswered?
Is there still faith in me to reach the end?
I'm feeling doubt I'm losing faith
But giving up would cost me everything
So I'll stand in the pain and the silence
And I'll speak to the dark night

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe

Though I can't see my stories ending
That doesn't mean the dark night has no end
It's only here that I find faith
And learn to trust the one who writes my days
So I'll stand in the pain and the silence
And I'll speak to the dark night

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, yeah
No dark can consume Light
No death greater than this life
We are not forgotten
Hope is found when we say
Even when He is silent

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe, I believe

Lyrics are on the youtube page

SLOW ME DOWN!!!!

So this week has been crazy busy! (More so at work than at home...) Just a very weird, chaotic, pretty much stressful week. So I think this song is very applicable for this week b/c I've totally felt like her. It's called Slow Me Down, by Emmy Rossum. And...
Thank you to my friends and family who've been there with me through the psycho-ness of this week. I couldn't have attempted to be able to finish it (the week) without you and your warm thoughts and words. :) Thank you so much. I love you all. ;)
I'm SO glad this week is almost over...

SKIP TO THE 35 SEC MARK B/C THE BEGINNING IS JUST ADVERTISING JUNK AND NOT THE ACTUAL SONG. (But it was the only embed able version I could find.)



Rushing and racing
and running in circles
Moving so fast, I'm forgetting my purpose
Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning
Getting nowhere
My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic
Pace of the world
I just wish I could stop it
Try to appear like I've got it together
I'm falling apart
Save me
Somebody take my hand, and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
'Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flys by
I need you to slow me down
Sometimes I fear that I might dissapear
In the blur of fast forward I faulter again
Forgetting to breathe, I need to sleep
I'm getting nowhere
All that I've missed I see in the reflection
Passed me while I wasn't paying attention
Tired of rushing, racing and running
I'm falling apart
Tell me
Oh won't you take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
'Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flys by
I need you to slow me down
Just show me
I need you to slow me down
The noise of the world is getting me caught up
Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it
Just need to breathe, somebody please
Slow me down

Completely

I was asked to sing a special at church for Sunday morning service. I'm going to sing a song called completely by Ana Laura. It's about surrendering and giving everything up to God, which I've really been struggling with this year, especially when it comes to trying to conceive. So here's the song for you all to hear it. Ana Laura is performing it.

Yoga

So I've been taking Yoga classes now since mid-January and LOVE THEM!!!! It's a great way for me to go and destress and get all bendy. :) I always feel great when I'm done and I never want the class to end. My husband, on the other hand, does not share in my Yoga enthusiasm. Don't get me wrong, he's completely okay with me going but he has no desire to go and participate with me. Maybe he's not bendy enough? I don't know. :)
I don't always have the same teacher for every class and each teacher does different poses. Sometimes when I'm in class, I'm reminded of a stand-up act by Brian Regan. It's called Yoga Made Impossible. Very funny. Thought you might all enjoy it. :)

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Brian Regan - Yoga Made Impossible

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Tonight

To my One and Only... I love you so much. I'm so proud of you and all you do for this family. Thank you for being my anchor to hold onto when the winds of life try to blow me away.
I'll be thinking about you (and singing this song in my head) while I'm at work tonight. :) xoxo
~b



BE STILL by Schuyler Fisk
Hold my hand
My fingers are cold.
Don't say a word
Just hold me close.

Steetlight in through the curtains
Are just right,
So don't you move.
Tonight, tonight

Be Still
Be Still
Be Still
Be Still

I can't wait.
I think you wanna kiss me, and I
Won't look. Only listen.
The earth moves
And the ocean sways
Let the moon run out
If we could just stay
Tonight, tonight

Be Still
Be Still
Be Still
Be Still

'Cause even if I'm scared to fall
I'd rather love than loose it all
Then to never be loved..
I'd rather be loved.
Tonight, tonight

Be Still
Be Still
Be Still
Be Still

Be Still
Be Still
Be Still
Be Still (Don't You move)
Be Still (Don't You Move)

Be Still
Be Still

Cuore Assente

I love this song. If you, the reader, could actually read and understand the Italian lyrics and not listen to the song, you might ask: "Why in the world do you like this song? It's about a lost love." Well because I do. :) Yes it's about lost love/absent heart. But the song is not a sad sounding, depressed song. It is peppy and has a beat. It's a lost love but she's not going to cry and be sad about it, she's moved on. I have my one and only love right here and I am so blessed to be married to him. :)
BUT...
Back in the day, there were others and I experienced many a broken heart. So if you're still looking for your one and only this Valentine's Day week, take heart. Someday you will find each other and you will be stronger for dealing with all the frogs you met up with along the way.
AND...
Don't let the flirts, acting romantics, and players that you meet (and fall for) along the way get you down. If they can't respect you and appreciate you for who you are, drop em. It will be okay.
They are not the only fish in the sea. You can do much better than that. Because a guy like that doesn't deserve you.
When you get down, just sing the La La song. :)



Cuore Assente (The La La Song)
by Giusy Ferreri
E cerco le parole
Tra milioni di poesie ma
Trovo solamente il tuo cuore assente,
la la la.

Cè stato un tempo in cui ti dedicai
Tutta una vita intera di passione e di bugie
Che custodisco in queste lettere
Che leggerai attento senza mai comprendere
Chi non si pente ha un cuore assente
La la la.

Forse ho corso troppo forte in questa via
E sarò ingenua ma non credo sarà colpa mia
Se ho faticato lungo la salita
Cercando che la vita mi restasse amica e
Guardo il presente dal cuore assente
La la la..

Tu sei forte
Io debole
Sei distante
Sto con te
Non respiro
Tu non credi
Chiudo gli occhi e tu non vedi
Come sto e dove andrò
Lo sai tu
ma io no
Mentre forte mi nascondo
Fra la gente e il cuore assente
Tu vuoi capire queste parole
amore che muore
la la la..

Come sto e dove andrò
Lo sai tu
ma io no
Mentre forte mi nascondo
Fra la gente e il cuore assente
Tu vuoi capire queste parole
amore che muore

Who now will sing me lullabies?

I can't keep doing this. It hurts too much and I don't think I can handle anymore disappointment. It only leads to heart break. :(



Who Will Sing Me Lullabies? by Kate Rusby

Lay me down gently, lay me down low,
I fear I am broken and won't mend, I know.
One thing I ask when the stars light the skies,
Who now will sing me lullabies,
Oh who now will sing me lullabies.

In this big world I'm lonely, for I am but small,
Oh angels in heaven, don't you care for me at all?
You heard my heart breaking for it rang through the skies,
So why don't you sing me lullabies,
Oh why don't you sing me lullabies.

I lay here; I'm weeping for the stars they have come,
I lay here not sleeping; now the long night has begun.
The man in the moon, oh he can't help but cry,
For there's no one to sing me lullabies,
Oh there's no one to sing me lullabies.

So lay me down gently, oh lay me down low,
I fear I am broken and won't mend, I know .
One thing I ask when the stars light the skies,
Who now will sing me lullabies,
Oh who now will sing me lullabies.

Who will sing me to sleep
Who will sing me to sleep
Who will sing me to sleep
Who will sing me to sleep

Where do I begin?

Hi all. Sorry I raised so much concern from my last post. I'm doing a bit better. Much of that last post stemmed from over exhaustion and stress. I've been going to sleep really early since then and trying to maintain a clear mind and positive attitude. My husband has been wonderful and supportive through all this. I'm very blessed to have a man like him.
Today I went to my yoga class which helped IMMENSELY. They played music by Hotel Costes during yoga. It's a mix of all different songs and kinds of music but with more of an electronic dance club feel. It was surprisingly very relaxing and nice. So I'm going to add one here for you all. It's called "Where do I begin" originally sung by Shirly Bassey but remixed for the Hotel Costes Vol 3 album.
Please keep me in your prayers. Thank you.

Broken

I'm tired, I need to go to bed. But... I'm hurting so much right now. My heart is bleeding and I feel broken. Please, Please Lord. Why? Why? This isn't me and this isn't where I want to be. I want me back. Please, Please! When will this happen? I don't know if I can take any more. I hurt. I feel like I've been broken into a million pieces and all those pieces have been scattered everywhere. Right now it feels like they'll never be able to be put back together again. There's nothing more I can say now. You know how I'm feeling Lord and why. Please, Please, PLEASE Lord. Please. Why did you make me feel this way only to make me have to wait more? I'm so broken right now even I hardly recognize myself. please...




SURRENDER by Barlow Girl
My hands hold safely to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen.
So many years I’ve shaped each one
Reflecting my heart, showing who I am.
Now you’re asking me to show
What I’m holding Oh so tightly.
Can’t open my hand; can’t let go
Does it matter?
Should I show you?
Can’t you let me go?

Surrender, surrender
You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can’t you see
My dreams are me, My dreams are me

Say you have a plan for me
And that you want the best for my life.
Told me the world has yet to see
What you can do with one
That’s committed to your call.
I know of course what I should do
That I can’t hold these dreams forever.
But if I give them now to you
Will you take them
Away forever? Or can I dream again?

Surrender, surrender
You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can’t you see
My dreams are me, My dreams are me

Falling

Oy... Long weekend and I'm exhausted. Nothing seems to be right and I'm just bleh... I can't think logically at all. All I want to do is climb in my bed and sleep away today and maybe tomorrow. :( Right now? Yup. I feel like I'm falling...



FALLING
by Kate Rusby

Ya hear me shout when no one's about,
You find me where I can't be seen.
I feel the air flowing for life's in full swing,
So tell me why I cannot breathe.

And here I am falling,
Oh why am I falling.
Take me to where I belong.
I'm standing here falling,
Before you falling.
If it weren't for your wings I'd be gone.

Time moves on and time won't be long,
In time I will fear not the day.
I'm endlessly knowing that you'll never know
What I might want you to say.

And here I am falling,
Oh why am I falling.
Take me to where I belong.
I'm standing here falling,
Before you falling.
If it weren't for your wings I'd be gone.

My back it aches, my body it breaks;
To grow my own wings I have tried.
And painless I came no aim must remain,
Alone and adrift on the tide

But here I'm still falling,
Oh why am I falling.
Take me to where I belong.
I'm standing here falling,
Before you falling.
If it weren't for your wings I'd be gone.

And here I'm still falling,
Oh why am I falling.
Take me to where I belong.
I'm standing here falling,
Before you falling.
If it weren't for your wings
If it weren't for your wings I'd be gone

In love with my best friend

I know I've said this before but, I LOVE Sirius's Coffee Shop Acoustic radio station. I just heard a beautiful perfect song. It's called Lucky and sung by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat.
I'm very lucky I'm in love with my best friend, and everyday I love him a little more than the day before. :)
xoxo
~b

Morning Lullabies

So I woke up this morning happily content and all curled up next to my honey. I didn't want to get out of bed. I just wanted to lay there all morning with him, watching him sleep. But then the alarm went off again and rudely reminded me that I had to get ready for work. So I left him there, sleeping, on his own.
I'm tired. I wish I was back in bed right now with him.
I love you and I can't wait to spend this weekend with you, my love, my best friend, my husband.
xoxo
~b



Morning Lullabies by Ingrid Michaelson

yesterday
i woke up
with your head on my arm
my hand was numb
circulation gone
but i dared not move
the pretty sleeping one

the sun had painted
patterns on your face
as you breathe sunday air

rode on to my open arms
i became your pillow
you let me smooth your hair

i will sing you morning lullabies
you are beautiful, and peaceful this way

i know you have to close your eyes
on everyone, let me help you,
ill sing you to sleep
with morning lullabies

let me lie in the curve
of your body tonight
and i will hear you
tumble into sleep
i will watch you heal
i will watch you heal with me

i will sing you morning lullabies
you are beautiful, and peaceful this way
i know you have to close your eyes on everyone
let me help you, ill sing you to sleep
with morning lullabies

i know you have to close your eyes on everyone
let me help you
ill sing you to sleep
with morning lullabye..bye baby

close your eyes
and i will sing you
morning lullabies

25 Random Things

Hi all! So I was tagged on my facebook page to write a note containing 25 random things about myself. It was hard but fun and I thought you all in blog world might want to read some of it someday when you get bored and you have nothing else to do. (It is pretty long.) So here you go. If you decide to do this too email or tag me so I can read it. :)

Rules:
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. English was not my first language. Although both my parents were born and raised in America, my first language was Italian. My parents and I moved to Italy when I was 11 months old and we lived there for about 4 ½ years. While my parents were away doing mission work and also attending Italian language school, I would spend the day with my babysitter and her family. They spoke mostly Italian and very little English. So I grew up hearing Italian and speaking Italian more than English. Since moving back to the US I’ve forgotten most of my Italian b/c I’m surrounded by English, but I hope to be fluent in it again someday.

2. I can pee standing up. (Not all toilets in Italy were like the standard toilets we have here in the US 20+ years ago when I lived there. Some places just had a porcelain hole in the ground with ridges in the porcelain on the sides of the hole where you were supposed to put your feet. During my potty training years it was not uncommon for me to be out and about in town and have to use one of those.)

3. I used to want to be a comedian when I was a kid, but the best joke I could come up with was the “Knock Knock, Boo Who? joke”.

4. One of my favorite memories as a kid was when my sisters and I would get our baths on Saturday or Sunday evening and then sit on the floor eating pb&j sandwiches while our parents brushed out our hair. During then the tv was on and we would watch: The Lawrence Welk show, Hee Haw, or America’s Funniest Home Videos. True family bonding moments. :D

5. My husband once said to me: “Bethany, I love you, but… Sometimes I think that your heart gets so big it cuts off the circulation to your brain.” And I didn’t get mad at him. Instead, I laughed because it’s true. I’ve always been an overly empathetic person. That’s one reason I don’t like altar calls at church b/c they always make me cry when I see people go up.

6. My quiet husband was the one who first introduced himself to me when I first moved to NE Ohio, and then I avoided him for 3 months. Whenever I complained to my best friend in NW Ohio that I couldn’t find a good, close friend here like her, his name kept popping up in my head and wouldn’t go away. When I did finally talk to him, I found out we had a lot in common and 6 years later we were married.

7. In 2008 I realized that there is a lot of random stuff that take for granted/consider normal, while the majority of my friends haven’t ever seen or experienced said random stuff. I went to Maine to visit my family this summer and many people in southern Maine (especially in the mountains) have old stone fences (just flat stone on top of each other no mortar or cement to hold them together) surrounding their property and little areas in their property. (Most of them are family burial plots, but the empty fenced in areas were created for people to put random wondering livestock in until the farmer realized the livestock was missing and came to find them.)

8. I found out a few years ago that I’m not of mostly English decent like I was told growing up. Actually, the head matriarch and patriarch of my father’s family were from Scotland and Ireland. There is some English mixed in further down the family tree but mostly Scottish and Irish. And to think, all these years I was slightly jealous of people with Irish decent on St. Patrick’s day for nothing. I had Irish in me the whole time.

9. I’m a coffee snob. I only like espresso, cappuccino, any mocha, and other things one would make on their Rancillo or find in a Starbucks. I don’t like regular coffee. Sorry… It’s ucky.

10. I’m learning to sew and I sometimes knit. (Little by little I’m getting closer and closer to being more domestimicated. Yes I spelt it wrong on purpose.)

11. When I was a kid I never understood why my mom hated and was so scared of mice. Now that I own my own old home I understand.

12. I have Spina Bifida Occulta. Because of this and a sketchy family history of Spina Bifida, I have to take 10 times the daily recommended dosage of Folic acid to help prevent neural tube birth defects should I get pregnant. (For those curious: The normal recommended amount of folic acid a woman should have is 400 micrograms. I take 4 milligrams.)

13. I once had a crush on a guy friend of mine for almost 4 years when I was in jr.high and high school. I never told him until a friend of mine spilled the beans to him. It never worked out though. He had a girlfriend at the time and a year later my dad got a job at another church and my family and I had to move to the other side of the state.

14. I have a “J-lo butt” and because of it, I’ve been hit on at: a funeral home (true story), on a construction site at my place of employment, walking outside (A guy actually followed me in his truck while I was walking back to my car, in broad daylight, saying all kinds of things I won’t repeat. Scary!), in a bank parking lot, at Burger King, on my way into the apartment I lived at AND once it was so bad I had a stalker (very true story). Creeps me out!

15. I’m a random person but I’m having a hard time coming up with 25 random things.

16. I would like to have a bigger house and hate being reminded of how small it is every time people are over (Not that they say anything, but when it’s crowded, it’s very obvious how small it is).

17. When we have children, I want to be a stay at home mom (at least until they’re in school).

18. I would like to get Suzy (our newf mix) a friend or two. (She seems lonely.) If I could, I would adopt an Irish Wolfhound and a Great Dane to add to our family. BUT, one of us would have to be home more to be able to give them the training and attention they’d need AND our house right now is too small to house 2 adults and 3 large breed dogs.

19. I love Jane Austen’s works and the Colin Firth/BBC version of Pride and Prejudice. I hated the Keira Knightley Pride and Prejudice move version.

20. The only game system I had growing up was an Atari and that was because it was given to my family. I’ve been very slow in developing any “gamer skills” and they’re still a long way off. (It’s a long road but I’m actually finally getting past level one of the classic Mario game on the Nintendo DS.)

21. Speaking of games… I’m married to the 1992 Ashtabula Tetris Champion. :D

22. I want to go to Hawaii, especially Maui. But if I go, I want to avoid the touristy places like the plague. Instead I want to spend time getting to know the people that live there and hang out with the locals. Then I will have truly felt like I’ve experienced the real Hawaii.

23. I love my dog Suzy. Sometimes we fall asleep on the couch together. It’s like sleeping with one of those giant oversized stuffed animals your boyfriend wins for you at the fair. Only, this one is alive.

24. There are days where my brain is in overload and I just want to run away from everything and almost everyone. When this happens, I like to picture myself somewhere on a remote fishermen’s island off the coast of Nova Scotia or Ireland. I’m sitting on a rocking chair, on my porch at my big New England style victorian/colonial home, wrapped up in a grey fishermen’s style sweater and watching the grey sky and waves crash over the rocky break wall.

25. I have a blog called Song Mistress. My posts consist of songs and thoughts and life. If you’re looking for some music ideas go to http://betaniagioia.blogspot.com A lot of it is folksy but there is the occasional rock and pop song on there too.

For you

A Bird's Song
by Ingrid Michaelson

When I would play my song
You used to sing along.
I always seem to forget
How fragile are the very strong.
I'm sorry I can't steal you
I'm sorry I can't stay
So I put band-aids on your knees
And watch you fly away

I'm sending you away tonight
I'll put you on a bird's strong wing
I'm saving you the best way I know how
I hope again one day to hear you sing

You know we're not so far away
Get on a boat, get on a train
And if you ever think you're drowning
I'll try to slow the rain
In two years or so
Drop me a line
Write me a letter
I hope to find you're doing better, better than today, better everyday

I'm sending you away tonight
I'll put you on a bird's strong wing
I'm saving you the best way I know how
I hope again one day to hear you sing
I'm saving you the only way that I know how
I hope again one day to hear you sing
I hope again one day to see you bring your smile back around again

Dante's Prayer

So I was looking at the obits section in the local paper and saw that a recent graduate from the university I work at passed away. I was shocked.
She was a very kind and sweet girl and I had gotten to know her a little bit b/c she was in the library often getting articles for her class, doing research, or studying. My thoughts and prayers go out to her family. She will be greatly missed.
Two weeks earlier to the day, the dean of the university I work at lost her son-in-law to leukemia. He was a young, healthy football coach for one of the local high schools when he was diagnosed with leukemia. He fought a long, courageous battle and passed away on the 10th surrounded by his family and friends.

So why this sad news and death talk on a blog about music? Well...
While I was driving to work and listening to my ipod this morning, Dante's Prayer came on by Loreena McKennitt. Although the song was inspired by Dante's Divine Comedy, the lyrics always sounded to me as though it was either a song sung to (or sung by) someone who had left or passed away.
And so, I would like to leave you with Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt, in memory of Cary, John and all other loved ones who have gone on before us. My thoughts, prayers, and warm wishes go out to you all.



Dante's Prayer
Words and music by Loreena McKennitt

When the dark wood fell before me
And all the paths were overgrown
When the priests of pride say there is no other way
I tilled the sorrows of stone

I did not believe because I could not see
Though you came to me in the night
When the dawn seemed forever lost
You showed me your love in the light of the stars

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me

Then the mountain rose before me
By the deep well of desire
From the fountain of forgiveness
Beyond the ice and fire

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me

Though we share this humble path, alone
How fragile is the heart
Oh give these clay feet wings to fly
To touch the face of the stars

Breathe life into this feeble heart
Lift this mortal veil of fear
Take these crumbled hopes, etched with tears
We'll rise above these earthly cares

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me
Please remember me

I had a dream

This song needs no explanation really. Priscilla Ahn is singing my thoughts of the past, present, and future. Maybe this will help you to know me better. :)



I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my house guests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream

Sigh...

Ok so I'm not completely cold and heartless even if the previous post left you wondering that. :) I'm actually a hopeless romantic. Really I am, just ask my family. :) So today I was listening to music while I was at work and "A te" by Jovanotti popped up. (A beautiful Italian song.) I tried to find the lyrics for it and I did one better. I found the lyrics for it that someone had translated into english. And so, I give you "A te" by Jovanotti (The translated lyrics are below the video. I don't know how well the english translation was done so if the person got something wrong, let me know.)



To you, because you're unique in the world
The only reason
To go till the end
At every breath of mine,
When I look at you,
After a day full of words,
Without you saying anything to me,
Everything gets clear
To you, because you're the one that found me
At the corner, with my fists closed
With my back against the wall
Ready to defend myself
With my eyes facing the ground
I was standing in the line
With the disappointed people
You've picked me up
Like a cat
And you've taken me with you
To you I sing another song
Because I don't have anything else
Anything better to give to you
Of everything I do have
Take my time
And the magic
That with one jump
Makes us fly in the air
Like papules
To you, because you are
You simply are
The substance of my days
The substance of my days
To you, my great love
And my biggest love
To you, because you've taken my life
And you've done a lot more with it
To you, because you gave time some sense
Without measuring it
To you my great love
And my biggest love
To you
whom I have seen crying in my hand
So fragile that I could have killed you just by squeezing you a little stronger
And then I've seen you
Having the strength of an airplane
Taking your life in your hands
And draging it into a safe zone
To you, because you've teached me how to dream
And the art of the adventure
To you, because you believe in courage
But also in fear
To you, the best thing
That happened to me
To you, because you change all the days
But you always stay the same
To you, because you are
You simply are
The substance of my days
The substance of my dreams
To you, because you are
You truly are
The substance of my dreams
The substance of my days
To you, because you never like yourself
But you're wonderful
Nature's forces gather in you
You're a cliff, a plant, a hurricane
You're the horizon that welcomes me when I go away
To you, the only friend
That I can have
The only love I'd want to have
If you weren't with me.
To you, because you've made my life
So beautiful
that you can turn fatigue
Into an immense pleasure
To you, because you are my great love
And my biggest love
To you, because you've taken my life
And you've made so much more out of it
To you, because you've given time some sense
Without measuring it
To you, great love of mine
My biggest love
To you, because you are
You simply are
The substance of my days
The substance of my dreams
And to you, because you are
You simply are
My days' partner
The substance of my dreams