It's been 1 year since Jack, a dear friend of mine and my family's, passed away. It's amazing how fast time flies and yet at the same time feels like it doesn't move at all. Just these past 2 weeks, the church family buried 2 other dear friends. When I think of the many friends and kind loving people that I've had to say goodbye to in my lifetime, it can really get me down. BUT, I know that there will come a day when I will be able to see them again and I eagerly await that time.
Lord, use me here to be a witness to others of Your grace and forgiveness. Give me the patience and strength to get through the difficult and sad days when I think of others who have gone on before me. And please give me the wisdom and right words to say so that I may be able to lead others to You and Your saving grace. So that one day, we may all rejoice in Heaven together. Amen.
In honor and memory of Jack, I'm going to listen to Hawaiian music today.
"Because you'll never find, another, Hawaiian like me..." :)
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Living Testament
Saw this on Patsy Clairmont's Facebook page. It's one of my favorite songs performed by Fernando Ortega and so appropriate to be played as a tribute to Ruth Bell Graham. Beautiful.
Wow Lord. What a testament.
The deep desire of my heart is to be a living example of Your love, forgiveness, and grace. Also to be a best friend, lover, a Christian wife and partner to my husband.
When I watched this video, and saw how Billy looked at his wife, and heard people's testimony about her life and walk with You... Wow! I want some of that! How amazing and beautiful. It showed me even more how important it is to put You first and trust in You to take care of my needs so that I can service others.
But so many times I feel like I fall short. It is so easy to let the things of this world seep into my life, my actions, and our home. Please don't let me get bogged down in that again. Protect my heart and my husband's and this home.
Thank you for being a loving God and Father. Please continue to guide me and show me areas that I need to change.
And...
Although I will probably never be as well known as Ruth Bell Graham was, I hope that when You call me home to Heaven, that somehow, somewhere, my life will have been a living testament to someone who needed to hear about Your love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. I want my life to reflect, to others, the love and respect I have for You first, my husband second, and my family third.
Just give me Jesus. :)
Thank you, Lord.
Your child,
Bethany
Wow Lord. What a testament.
The deep desire of my heart is to be a living example of Your love, forgiveness, and grace. Also to be a best friend, lover, a Christian wife and partner to my husband.
When I watched this video, and saw how Billy looked at his wife, and heard people's testimony about her life and walk with You... Wow! I want some of that! How amazing and beautiful. It showed me even more how important it is to put You first and trust in You to take care of my needs so that I can service others.
But so many times I feel like I fall short. It is so easy to let the things of this world seep into my life, my actions, and our home. Please don't let me get bogged down in that again. Protect my heart and my husband's and this home.
Thank you for being a loving God and Father. Please continue to guide me and show me areas that I need to change.
And...
Although I will probably never be as well known as Ruth Bell Graham was, I hope that when You call me home to Heaven, that somehow, somewhere, my life will have been a living testament to someone who needed to hear about Your love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. I want my life to reflect, to others, the love and respect I have for You first, my husband second, and my family third.
Just give me Jesus. :)
Thank you, Lord.
Your child,
Bethany
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
SAVE OHIO LIBRARIES!
Dear Governor Strickland,
I would like to share how saddened and disappointed I am by hearing of the drastic budget cuts you are planning for the Ohio public library system. Public libraries are the back bone of a community.
With the way the economy has been, public libraries are a necessity in that they provide the unemployed (or soon to be unemployed) the ability to job hunt, prepare their resumes and vitaes, and ready themselves for job interviews all through their FREE OF CHARGE internet and book loan services. People who are having a tough time financially can still help meet their children’s needs by: enrolling them in many of the free children's programs libraries offer, bringing home books (free of charge) and read to their children, bringing their children in to use the internet and many of the educational websites on there (like PBS.org). The public library system also provides children and teens with a safe and engaging environment for them to go to and learn while keeping them off the streets.
Also by cutting library funding, you will be hurting the public school system. We all know that the educational budget is tight and financially strapped. Public schools (and home schoolers) rely on the public libraries in their community to assist students in their research needs where the school cannot. If the public library is forced to close because the funding isn’t there, then Ohio’s educational system will suffer. Students research needs won’t be meant. Ohio’s graduating students would be at a higher disadvantage educationally in the job field and when enrolling in other colleges and universities than other students graduating from another state where public libraries are not in such dire financial crisis. Cut library funding and I can GUARANTEE you: many libraries will be forced to close, school assessment/proficiency scores will be down significantly state-wide, unemployment rates will be even higher, crime rates will also raise because, in many communities, students will no longer have a safe place to go to that keeps them off the streets.
Please rethink this proposal. When I was a child and growing up, my parents knew how important the public library was in supplementing our learning (especially during the summer months) and growing. It is because of their enrolling me in the public library’s programs and frequent library visits as a young child, that I am in the position I am today at the Kent State University Ashtabula Campus Library. Cut the budget as bad as you are proposing and not only will affect the libraries and staff, but you will also affect the communities around the state and our future, the children.
Sincerely,
Bethany
I would like to share how saddened and disappointed I am by hearing of the drastic budget cuts you are planning for the Ohio public library system. Public libraries are the back bone of a community.
With the way the economy has been, public libraries are a necessity in that they provide the unemployed (or soon to be unemployed) the ability to job hunt, prepare their resumes and vitaes, and ready themselves for job interviews all through their FREE OF CHARGE internet and book loan services. People who are having a tough time financially can still help meet their children’s needs by: enrolling them in many of the free children's programs libraries offer, bringing home books (free of charge) and read to their children, bringing their children in to use the internet and many of the educational websites on there (like PBS.org). The public library system also provides children and teens with a safe and engaging environment for them to go to and learn while keeping them off the streets.
Also by cutting library funding, you will be hurting the public school system. We all know that the educational budget is tight and financially strapped. Public schools (and home schoolers) rely on the public libraries in their community to assist students in their research needs where the school cannot. If the public library is forced to close because the funding isn’t there, then Ohio’s educational system will suffer. Students research needs won’t be meant. Ohio’s graduating students would be at a higher disadvantage educationally in the job field and when enrolling in other colleges and universities than other students graduating from another state where public libraries are not in such dire financial crisis. Cut library funding and I can GUARANTEE you: many libraries will be forced to close, school assessment/proficiency scores will be down significantly state-wide, unemployment rates will be even higher, crime rates will also raise because, in many communities, students will no longer have a safe place to go to that keeps them off the streets.
Please rethink this proposal. When I was a child and growing up, my parents knew how important the public library was in supplementing our learning (especially during the summer months) and growing. It is because of their enrolling me in the public library’s programs and frequent library visits as a young child, that I am in the position I am today at the Kent State University Ashtabula Campus Library. Cut the budget as bad as you are proposing and not only will affect the libraries and staff, but you will also affect the communities around the state and our future, the children.
Sincerely,
Bethany
Friday, April 17, 2009
Many the Miles
Okay so I'm a huge fan of Sara Bareilles and her music. One of my favorite songs of hers is a song called Many the Miles and I always wanted to know why and what inspired her to write this song. Today I read her myspace blog and found out what her inspiration was and I thought I should share it with you all.
Sara writes:
So I wrote this song as a reminder to myself to keep going in search of love and truth and light and it remains to be and ideal I love to stay connected to.
I suck at it a lot of the time actually, to be honest. I get bitchy, and bored, and irritable, and uninspired and I spend a lot of energy on what i don't like about myself. But at the end of a good day I can take solace in the fact that I am someone who truly wants to be peaceful. Who knows I have the capacity to be truly happy. Not every moment of everyday... but sometimes, and if I'm really committed... a lot of the time.
I don't want to settle for less.
And i wish that for every single one of you. That when you look at your life you gravitate towards what feeds your soul and the people that make you feel inspired and content and beautiful (on the inside, silly). That you give yourself permission to be flawed and imperfect and "lesser than". Know that we all are. I promise. We just don't like to admit it.
So that's my rant for today.
As I cross the miles to get to our destination, I want to send you all little boxes of light that make you feel courageous and perfect. Just in being who you are.
So there.
xoxo
sara
Thank you Sara for that reminder. :) I really needed to read that after this week. :) You can check out the full post and her other blog posts on her myspace blog page at http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=15637801&blogID=483526660
Sara writes:
So I wrote this song as a reminder to myself to keep going in search of love and truth and light and it remains to be and ideal I love to stay connected to.
I suck at it a lot of the time actually, to be honest. I get bitchy, and bored, and irritable, and uninspired and I spend a lot of energy on what i don't like about myself. But at the end of a good day I can take solace in the fact that I am someone who truly wants to be peaceful. Who knows I have the capacity to be truly happy. Not every moment of everyday... but sometimes, and if I'm really committed... a lot of the time.
I don't want to settle for less.
And i wish that for every single one of you. That when you look at your life you gravitate towards what feeds your soul and the people that make you feel inspired and content and beautiful (on the inside, silly). That you give yourself permission to be flawed and imperfect and "lesser than". Know that we all are. I promise. We just don't like to admit it.
So that's my rant for today.
As I cross the miles to get to our destination, I want to send you all little boxes of light that make you feel courageous and perfect. Just in being who you are.
So there.
xoxo
sara
Thank you Sara for that reminder. :) I really needed to read that after this week. :) You can check out the full post and her other blog posts on her myspace blog page at http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=15637801&blogID=483526660
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I dreamed a dream
This just goes to show that you can't judge a book by its cover or a person by how they look. Watch the whole video and prepare to get goosebumps (the good kind). Good job Susan Boyle!!!!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Happy Sunny Day
So today has been sunny and warmer than the previous week. All in all a pretty good day. :) I've also been sleeping better since the hubby and I have rearranged some things upstairs. The bedroom looks more open and inviting instead of cluttered and chaotic.
Work wasn't too bad today and it's ending on a really good note. :) So I'm smiling right now and totally enjoying it. :D How's your day been?
(This was the only Morning Song by Priscilla Ahn I could find on YouTube!)
morning
sunrise
open my eyes
and i can tell it's gonna be a good day
i can tell it's gonna be a good day
did you sleep well?
did you dream at all?
can you tell me the time?
on the alarm clock
i can tell it's gonna be a good day
i can tell it's gonna be a good day
but you can sleep in
you just keep dreamin
for us
i can tell it's gonna be a good day
i can tell it's gonna be a good day
Work wasn't too bad today and it's ending on a really good note. :) So I'm smiling right now and totally enjoying it. :D How's your day been?
(This was the only Morning Song by Priscilla Ahn I could find on YouTube!)
morning
sunrise
open my eyes
and i can tell it's gonna be a good day
i can tell it's gonna be a good day
did you sleep well?
did you dream at all?
can you tell me the time?
on the alarm clock
i can tell it's gonna be a good day
i can tell it's gonna be a good day
but you can sleep in
you just keep dreamin
for us
i can tell it's gonna be a good day
i can tell it's gonna be a good day
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Armani and Crabs
So this morning has been a fun morning, all because of my twitter and facebook status. It says: Yesterday I was intoxicated by Armani & now I've given Tom crabs. Since Tom has crabs, now Jen has crabs too. What is this world coming to?
:D It sounds dirty but it is a true statement. :)
Although the crabs I'm talking about are horseshoe crab shells I found on the beach while in Florida that I gave to my friends b/c Tom had asked for one. I really was almost intoxicated by Armani (cologne) yesterday. But I didn't mind b/c it's good smelling stuff. :)
Now that you know the story it doesn't seem so dirty. BUT...
If I randomly went up to you and told you that I had been intoxicated by Armani and given 2 of my friends crabs you probably would've looked at me funny and run the other way. :)
So I guess you could say to me that today I'm toxic? Well... maybe not. :) But the song has popped into my head (I think it's mostly b/c of this mornings "events") and so I'm going to post it on here. :) Unfortunately, I can't find an embeddable version of the official music video on YouTube so I'm leaving you with a one that just has the lyrics. :(
Hope your day is as sun shiny and crab free as mine! :)
:D It sounds dirty but it is a true statement. :)
Although the crabs I'm talking about are horseshoe crab shells I found on the beach while in Florida that I gave to my friends b/c Tom had asked for one. I really was almost intoxicated by Armani (cologne) yesterday. But I didn't mind b/c it's good smelling stuff. :)
Now that you know the story it doesn't seem so dirty. BUT...
If I randomly went up to you and told you that I had been intoxicated by Armani and given 2 of my friends crabs you probably would've looked at me funny and run the other way. :)
So I guess you could say to me that today I'm toxic? Well... maybe not. :) But the song has popped into my head (I think it's mostly b/c of this mornings "events") and so I'm going to post it on here. :) Unfortunately, I can't find an embeddable version of the official music video on YouTube so I'm leaving you with a one that just has the lyrics. :(
Hope your day is as sun shiny and crab free as mine! :)
Thursday, April 2, 2009
A prayer for peace, strenghth and wisdom borrowed from King David
I'm trying not to be frustrated but I am. Where do you want me Lord? Why do you put these desires/wishes in my heart? What am I supposed to do? When will they be fulfilled? I feel like I'm constantly fighting for my sanity. I want peace. Please protect me, show me, hold me up.
Psalm 143:3-12
3 The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in darkness
like those long dead.
4 So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.
5 I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.
6 I spread out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.
Selah
7 Answer me quickly, O LORD;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
9 Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD,
for I hide myself in you.
10 Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.
11 For your name's sake, O LORD, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.
FALLING
by Kate Rusby
Ya hear me shout when no one's about,
You find me where I can't be seen.
I feel the air flowing for life's in full swing,
So tell me why I cannot breathe.
And here I am falling,
Oh why am I falling.
Take me to where I belong.
I'm standing here falling,
Before you falling.
If it weren't for your wings I'd be gone.
Time moves on and time won't be long,
In time I will fear not the day.
I'm endlessly knowing that you'll never know
What I might want you to say.
And here I am falling,
Oh why am I falling.
Take me to where I belong.
I'm standing here falling,
Before you falling.
If it weren't for your wings I'd be gone.
My back it aches, my body it breaks;
To grow my own wings I have tried.
And painless I came no aim must remain,
Alone and adrift on the tide
But here I'm still falling,
Oh why am I falling.
Take me to where I belong.
I'm standing here falling,
Before you falling.
If it weren't for your wings I'd be gone.
And here I'm still falling,
Oh why am I falling.
Take me to where I belong.
I'm standing here falling,
Before you falling.
If it weren't for your wings
If it weren't for your wings I'd be gone
Psalm 143:3-12
3 The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in darkness
like those long dead.
4 So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.
5 I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.
6 I spread out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.
Selah
7 Answer me quickly, O LORD;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
9 Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD,
for I hide myself in you.
10 Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.
11 For your name's sake, O LORD, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.
FALLING
by Kate Rusby
Ya hear me shout when no one's about,
You find me where I can't be seen.
I feel the air flowing for life's in full swing,
So tell me why I cannot breathe.
And here I am falling,
Oh why am I falling.
Take me to where I belong.
I'm standing here falling,
Before you falling.
If it weren't for your wings I'd be gone.
Time moves on and time won't be long,
In time I will fear not the day.
I'm endlessly knowing that you'll never know
What I might want you to say.
And here I am falling,
Oh why am I falling.
Take me to where I belong.
I'm standing here falling,
Before you falling.
If it weren't for your wings I'd be gone.
My back it aches, my body it breaks;
To grow my own wings I have tried.
And painless I came no aim must remain,
Alone and adrift on the tide
But here I'm still falling,
Oh why am I falling.
Take me to where I belong.
I'm standing here falling,
Before you falling.
If it weren't for your wings I'd be gone.
And here I'm still falling,
Oh why am I falling.
Take me to where I belong.
I'm standing here falling,
Before you falling.
If it weren't for your wings
If it weren't for your wings I'd be gone
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Trading my sorrows
So I've been going through some things in my life recently that have been a challenge for me. My attempts at remaining positive through all of this has resulted in mostly fails. (I swear I'm not emo. I promise. Even though these blogs would lead you to think I was, I'm not.) So I'm trying to maintain a more positive attitude when life isn't going my way (which this year seems to be about 90% of the time).
Right now I'm at that point. I can either fret and worry and get upset, OR... I can put a smile on my face and try to think of positive things and things to be grateful for. So while I was pondering whether or not I pout or praise, the song Trading My Sorrows by Darrell Evans popped into my head. Very appropriate. :) So I've decided to "trade in my sorrows" and push through. The end of today is almost here.
Incidentally, the Snapple "Real Fact" #168 from my Snapple tea I'm drinking today says: "One brow wrinkle is the result of 200,000 frowns."
Can you believe that?! Well I guess that's just another reason to decide to remain positive. I'd much rather have wrinkles from smiling and laughing too much than from frowning! :)
Right now I'm at that point. I can either fret and worry and get upset, OR... I can put a smile on my face and try to think of positive things and things to be grateful for. So while I was pondering whether or not I pout or praise, the song Trading My Sorrows by Darrell Evans popped into my head. Very appropriate. :) So I've decided to "trade in my sorrows" and push through. The end of today is almost here.
Incidentally, the Snapple "Real Fact" #168 from my Snapple tea I'm drinking today says: "One brow wrinkle is the result of 200,000 frowns."
Can you believe that?! Well I guess that's just another reason to decide to remain positive. I'd much rather have wrinkles from smiling and laughing too much than from frowning! :)
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Spring
As I've gotten older and experienced more winters in this dark/no-sun corner of the state, I've seen a pattern in my life and how I spend my time. When winter starts to set in and it gets darker sooner, I find that I have a harder time motivating myself to do indoor projects like cleaning, reorganizing, etc. All I want to do when I get home is read, veg-out, chat on the computer, and the list goes on. I HATE it because I feel like the world's laziest person ever but I can't seem to motivate myself enough to get up and do something about it. Then on Saturday or Sunday, I'm rushing around trying to clean the whole house. The older I've gotten, the worse it's become. And this winter has not been an exception. :(
But now "spring" is here, even though it is only 30-40 degrees. The sun is out longer, because of the time change, and when I get home late from work I'm not so tired (mainly b/c it is still sunny when I get home).
There seems to be a family predisposition to light sensitivity on my dad's side of the family. Basically what that means is that lack of sun and exposure to sun can lead to one being depressed or sluggish. I love the winter b/c with it brings birthdays, Christmas, New Years, and Nerdfest. But once February 1 hits, I'm ready for it to be over. I hate the dark and I feel sluggish and not myself.
Being in Florida last week was a welcome break. It was sunny and 82 degrees the whole time we were there. It was wonderful! It felt like summer and all the radio stations were playing "summer-ish" songs (upbeat songs that you can dance to and get you out of bed in the morning like Kanye West, Beyonce, Britney Spears) all the time.
Then we get back here and it's just pah... :(
But Florida helped me bounce back so I'm going to try to take some of this energy I've collected and use it to overhaul the upstairs. I know I've said that many times but I'm really going to do it today and no one can stop me. :)
I'm going to leave you with one of those Florida overplayed "summer songs". I'm sure by the end of this year the song will drive me nuts b/c all the dj's in this area will have overplayed it. But for now, I LOVE it. :)
But now "spring" is here, even though it is only 30-40 degrees. The sun is out longer, because of the time change, and when I get home late from work I'm not so tired (mainly b/c it is still sunny when I get home).
There seems to be a family predisposition to light sensitivity on my dad's side of the family. Basically what that means is that lack of sun and exposure to sun can lead to one being depressed or sluggish. I love the winter b/c with it brings birthdays, Christmas, New Years, and Nerdfest. But once February 1 hits, I'm ready for it to be over. I hate the dark and I feel sluggish and not myself.
Being in Florida last week was a welcome break. It was sunny and 82 degrees the whole time we were there. It was wonderful! It felt like summer and all the radio stations were playing "summer-ish" songs (upbeat songs that you can dance to and get you out of bed in the morning like Kanye West, Beyonce, Britney Spears) all the time.
Then we get back here and it's just pah... :(
But Florida helped me bounce back so I'm going to try to take some of this energy I've collected and use it to overhaul the upstairs. I know I've said that many times but I'm really going to do it today and no one can stop me. :)
I'm going to leave you with one of those Florida overplayed "summer songs". I'm sure by the end of this year the song will drive me nuts b/c all the dj's in this area will have overplayed it. But for now, I LOVE it. :)
Sunday, March 8, 2009
If you like pina coladas...
Day 3 in Florida, day 2 at the beach house in the keys. BEAUTIFUL!!! ;) Tomorrow will probably be shopping of some sort. Tuesday will dolphins and turtles (probably). We're going to Key West on Wed and after that I'm not so sure but totally loving this place. :) Creepy thing is.... Portuguese man of war wash up frequently on our beach. Scary uber bad jelly fish but they're easy to get rid of. There's coconut palms all over our property! :D So today we had fresh coconut. The 2 men in the household have become experts at getting the hard outermost shell of the coconut off. :)
All in all, great day at "home". :)
All in all, great day at "home". :)
Friday, March 6, 2009
FLORIDA DAY 1 part 2: Let's go fly a kite
So the second part of the day was spent at the St Augustine beach. Our friends that we came with took their kids out to the shore line to play and collect shells, I walked the beach, and Chris just relaxed on the beach and watched everyone. It had been a very long day and we were all extremely tired. When I got back, another family a ways down from Chris had set up some large kites and had them flying. Watching kites and relaxing on the beach. A perfect way to end the day. :)
My husband and a kite. He is not flying them, a family next to us set up and flew the kites.
I will try to keep this updated as the vacation goes on. :) Hope you all are having a good weekend!
 |
| From Blogger Pictures |
My husband and a kite. He is not flying them, a family next to us set up and flew the kites.
 |
| From Blogger Pictures |
I will try to keep this updated as the vacation goes on. :) Hope you all are having a good weekend!
FLORIDA DAY 1: Sittin on the dock of the bay
Well we've made it. We're in Florida! :D Tomorrow we leave for the Florida Keys and spend the rest of the weekend and next week there. :)
We drove all night Thursday night and spent the rest of Friday in St. Augustine (the old/touristy town and the beach). The weather was BEAUTIFUL and although we're completely exhausted we've had a lot of fun.
This post is for my 2 work buddies b/c I left my last day of work before the vacation cheekly singing "Sittin on the dock of the bay...". So T and J this is for you. :) I did sit, on a cement walkway, near a bay? Okay... so it was the Atlantic ocean, but hey it doesn't really matter. :) I sat and wasted time. :)The picture below shows just this ;)
And here is a recording of this song for your viewing and listening pleasure. :)
We drove all night Thursday night and spent the rest of Friday in St. Augustine (the old/touristy town and the beach). The weather was BEAUTIFUL and although we're completely exhausted we've had a lot of fun.
This post is for my 2 work buddies b/c I left my last day of work before the vacation cheekly singing "Sittin on the dock of the bay...". So T and J this is for you. :) I did sit, on a cement walkway, near a bay? Okay... so it was the Atlantic ocean, but hey it doesn't really matter. :) I sat and wasted time. :)The picture below shows just this ;)
 |
| From Blogger Pictures |
And here is a recording of this song for your viewing and listening pleasure. :)
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
And the countdown begins
Going to warmth soon and I can't wait!!!! :D Here's a fun, peppy, little song for all you "listeners" out there. :)
I love this song. :) It reminds me of the movie 50 First Dates. (If you haven't watched it, you MUST rent it right away and watch it!) It also reminds me of warm, sunny, summer days. :) So as I close out my work day and the time for my vaca in warmth draws near... I will leave you all with this. :)
I love this song. :) It reminds me of the movie 50 First Dates. (If you haven't watched it, you MUST rent it right away and watch it!) It also reminds me of warm, sunny, summer days. :) So as I close out my work day and the time for my vaca in warmth draws near... I will leave you all with this. :)
Friday, February 27, 2009
Life lesson via radio
So the past couple of weeks, months, etc have been interesting. Pretty much a total roller coaster ride starting in 2009. These past couple of weeks the roller coaster has pretty much been going down hill. And I haven't handled all of it in the best way.
I've tried and failed. Many times I just cried out in grief and frustration to God asking "Why me?". I've not been proud of the way I've handled these tough (for me) times. There are other people in the world going through so much worse than I am or ever have and their faith was strengthened by it. I've been a wimp, I'll admit it.
I just want for all this "bad stuff" to go away as fast as it can. I didn't want to wait any more for my prayers to be answered. I'm not proud of it but through most of the tough times, I've fought with God about my unresolved prayers instead of falling on my knees and praying to Him.
This morning I received an eye opener when I was listening to Scott and Kelly on Air1 (a Christian radio station) on my way into work. They played Barlow Girl's song "I believe in love". Although I've heard it before, listening to it this time really opened my eyes to the meaning of the song.
When I got into work I did a quick YouTube search for it and found a recorded video of them performing it at a concert. In the beginning of the video, they talk about their inspiration for this song and I got another eye opener.
We are like unrefined gold and God is the goldsmith. In order to make gold pure and valuable the unrefined material must be heated between 1,830°F and 2,010°F. The metals are separated through this and after a few more steps of fire and separation, the goldsmith has pure gold. When we go through trials and tribulations, things can get hot quick and life can be very uncomfortable. But we are in that fire because God is trying to refine us, to make us more pure. It is in our trials and tribulations where our character is formed where our relationship with the Lord becomes more pure. It is in these trials that we grow. Or at least it's supposed to be...
I've been through bad times before, many. In fact there is a whole year of my life where so many stressful and bad (at the time) things happened, that I don't even remember that year very well at all. And I think that for the most part, I did "good" I didn't struggle (much) and I was faithful in my devotions and walk with God.
But this time...
This time...
This time has been one of the toughest. I've been struggling with a desire/want that I hold very dear to my heart and I don't want to let it go. The more time passes and my prayers go unanswered, the deeper the hurt and pain. When I think of it, and all the time I've been struggling with it, it brings tears to my eyes. Lately, although I know I have many good friends out there praying for me, I've shed more tears over it than I have ever shed in my life.
I've been losing faith but I'm still struggling hard to hold on as best as I possibly can. I can't give up b/c that would cost me everything.
Lord will you please forgive me for holding on so tightly to the desires of my heart? I never thought that I would be tested about this for so long and I really don't know how much I can do. I know I can't and shouldn't fight you but it's become my defense mechanism. Please forgive me Lord for spending more time upset at you then running to you for comfort. You know the desire of my heart, You put it there. I pray Lord that you will answer this prayer. But I pray that it is done in your time. And if that means I have to wait another month, year, or 5 years please give me strength to be able to overcome it. I'm broken and I can't go on by myself anymore. I hurt too much to go at it alone.
Thank you so much for being a loving, caring and forgiving God. Please help me be a better Christian.
~Bethany
READERS: The video and lyrics are below. Please listen to the whole thing, if you can. The beginning of the video talks about their inspiration for the song and the lesson they learned from it. I also ask that you will please continue to keep me in your prayers. Thank you.
Barlow Girl - I Believe in Love
How long will my prayers seem unanswered?
Is there still faith in me to reach the end?
I'm feeling doubt I'm losing faith
But giving up would cost me everything
So I'll stand in the pain and the silence
And I'll speak to the dark night
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe
Though I can't see my stories ending
That doesn't mean the dark night has no end
It's only here that I find faith
And learn to trust the one who writes my days
So I'll stand in the pain and the silence
And I'll speak to the dark night
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, yeah
No dark can consume Light
No death greater than this life
We are not forgotten
Hope is found when we say
Even when He is silent
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe, I believe
I've tried and failed. Many times I just cried out in grief and frustration to God asking "Why me?". I've not been proud of the way I've handled these tough (for me) times. There are other people in the world going through so much worse than I am or ever have and their faith was strengthened by it. I've been a wimp, I'll admit it.
I just want for all this "bad stuff" to go away as fast as it can. I didn't want to wait any more for my prayers to be answered. I'm not proud of it but through most of the tough times, I've fought with God about my unresolved prayers instead of falling on my knees and praying to Him.
This morning I received an eye opener when I was listening to Scott and Kelly on Air1 (a Christian radio station) on my way into work. They played Barlow Girl's song "I believe in love". Although I've heard it before, listening to it this time really opened my eyes to the meaning of the song.
When I got into work I did a quick YouTube search for it and found a recorded video of them performing it at a concert. In the beginning of the video, they talk about their inspiration for this song and I got another eye opener.
We are like unrefined gold and God is the goldsmith. In order to make gold pure and valuable the unrefined material must be heated between 1,830°F and 2,010°F. The metals are separated through this and after a few more steps of fire and separation, the goldsmith has pure gold. When we go through trials and tribulations, things can get hot quick and life can be very uncomfortable. But we are in that fire because God is trying to refine us, to make us more pure. It is in our trials and tribulations where our character is formed where our relationship with the Lord becomes more pure. It is in these trials that we grow. Or at least it's supposed to be...
I've been through bad times before, many. In fact there is a whole year of my life where so many stressful and bad (at the time) things happened, that I don't even remember that year very well at all. And I think that for the most part, I did "good" I didn't struggle (much) and I was faithful in my devotions and walk with God.
But this time...
This time...
This time has been one of the toughest. I've been struggling with a desire/want that I hold very dear to my heart and I don't want to let it go. The more time passes and my prayers go unanswered, the deeper the hurt and pain. When I think of it, and all the time I've been struggling with it, it brings tears to my eyes. Lately, although I know I have many good friends out there praying for me, I've shed more tears over it than I have ever shed in my life.
I've been losing faith but I'm still struggling hard to hold on as best as I possibly can. I can't give up b/c that would cost me everything.
Lord will you please forgive me for holding on so tightly to the desires of my heart? I never thought that I would be tested about this for so long and I really don't know how much I can do. I know I can't and shouldn't fight you but it's become my defense mechanism. Please forgive me Lord for spending more time upset at you then running to you for comfort. You know the desire of my heart, You put it there. I pray Lord that you will answer this prayer. But I pray that it is done in your time. And if that means I have to wait another month, year, or 5 years please give me strength to be able to overcome it. I'm broken and I can't go on by myself anymore. I hurt too much to go at it alone.
Thank you so much for being a loving, caring and forgiving God. Please help me be a better Christian.
~Bethany
READERS: The video and lyrics are below. Please listen to the whole thing, if you can. The beginning of the video talks about their inspiration for the song and the lesson they learned from it. I also ask that you will please continue to keep me in your prayers. Thank you.
Barlow Girl - I Believe in Love
How long will my prayers seem unanswered?
Is there still faith in me to reach the end?
I'm feeling doubt I'm losing faith
But giving up would cost me everything
So I'll stand in the pain and the silence
And I'll speak to the dark night
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe
Though I can't see my stories ending
That doesn't mean the dark night has no end
It's only here that I find faith
And learn to trust the one who writes my days
So I'll stand in the pain and the silence
And I'll speak to the dark night
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, yeah
No dark can consume Light
No death greater than this life
We are not forgotten
Hope is found when we say
Even when He is silent
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe, I believe
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
SLOW ME DOWN!!!!
So this week has been crazy busy! (More so at work than at home...) Just a very weird, chaotic, pretty much stressful week. So I think this song is very applicable for this week b/c I've totally felt like her. It's called Slow Me Down, by Emmy Rossum. And...
Thank you to my friends and family who've been there with me through the psycho-ness of this week. I couldn't have attempted to be able to finish it (the week) without you and your warm thoughts and words. :) Thank you so much. I love you all. ;)
I'm SO glad this week is almost over...
SKIP TO THE 35 SEC MARK B/C THE BEGINNING IS JUST ADVERTISING JUNK AND NOT THE ACTUAL SONG. (But it was the only embed able version I could find.)
Rushing and racing
and running in circles
Moving so fast, I'm forgetting my purpose
Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning
Getting nowhere
My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic
Pace of the world
I just wish I could stop it
Try to appear like I've got it together
I'm falling apart
Save me
Somebody take my hand, and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
'Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flys by
I need you to slow me down
Sometimes I fear that I might dissapear
In the blur of fast forward I faulter again
Forgetting to breathe, I need to sleep
I'm getting nowhere
All that I've missed I see in the reflection
Passed me while I wasn't paying attention
Tired of rushing, racing and running
I'm falling apart
Tell me
Oh won't you take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
'Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flys by
I need you to slow me down
Just show me
I need you to slow me down
The noise of the world is getting me caught up
Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it
Just need to breathe, somebody please
Slow me down
Thank you to my friends and family who've been there with me through the psycho-ness of this week. I couldn't have attempted to be able to finish it (the week) without you and your warm thoughts and words. :) Thank you so much. I love you all. ;)
I'm SO glad this week is almost over...
SKIP TO THE 35 SEC MARK B/C THE BEGINNING IS JUST ADVERTISING JUNK AND NOT THE ACTUAL SONG. (But it was the only embed able version I could find.)
Rushing and racing
and running in circles
Moving so fast, I'm forgetting my purpose
Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning
Getting nowhere
My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic
Pace of the world
I just wish I could stop it
Try to appear like I've got it together
I'm falling apart
Save me
Somebody take my hand, and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
'Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flys by
I need you to slow me down
Sometimes I fear that I might dissapear
In the blur of fast forward I faulter again
Forgetting to breathe, I need to sleep
I'm getting nowhere
All that I've missed I see in the reflection
Passed me while I wasn't paying attention
Tired of rushing, racing and running
I'm falling apart
Tell me
Oh won't you take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
'Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flys by
I need you to slow me down
Just show me
I need you to slow me down
The noise of the world is getting me caught up
Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it
Just need to breathe, somebody please
Slow me down
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Completely
I was asked to sing a special at church for Sunday morning service. I'm going to sing a song called completely by Ana Laura. It's about surrendering and giving everything up to God, which I've really been struggling with this year, especially when it comes to trying to conceive. So here's the song for you all to hear it. Ana Laura is performing it.
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